divorce doula services
Whether you have just made the decision to divorce, are in the middle of a divorce, or have divorced in the past, I want to start by saying congratulations! While many offer condolences during a divorce, I don't; getting divorced was one of the greatest and most transformative experiences of my life. But that doesn't mean divorce is easy, and it doesn't mean there isn't grief. I support people in all stages of divorce, and in all kinds of divorce: amicable, contested, desired, resisted, with children, without.
My divorce doula services are designed to be tailored to your specific needs and circumstances. Below is a non-exhaustive list of services I offer for divorce work. We will begin with a complimentary exploratory meeting to identify what kind of support you might want or need, and what we can build together as you enter this new stage of life.
Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer, a therapist, or a mental health professional. I will not be providing any legal or medical advice, but I can provide resources for mediators, lawyers, and therapists.
Emotional Support and Processing
Providing a safe, confidential, judgment-free, value-neutral container to process the emotions around divorce. All of your emotions are welcome here, including: grief, rage, elation, excitement, despair, joy, and fear. A separate container for intense emotions allows us to make the logistical decisions we have to with a clearer mind.
Enthusiasm and Encouragement
This is one of my favorite roles as a divorce doula. We have been socialized our entire lives to believe that the crowning achievement in life is getting and staying married. It is easy to let those social scripts make us feel like a failure. I will be reminding you, with genuine and personalized enthusiasm, what a great job you are doing.
A common part of going through a transformative event like divorce is that what we need changes, even in our most stable, long-term relationships. Together we will identify your needs and how they have changed, and makes plans for communicating your needs to your support system.
Separation Ceremony or Ritual
In the case of amicable divorce, we can work together to design and plan a separation ceremony for you and your former spouse, if desired. In the case of contested or high-conflict divorce (or is a separation ritual isn't wanted), we will plan and hold a separation ritual for closure, letting go, and honoring yourself, your journey, and this new chapter.
Boundaries are always great to have, but they are an essential tool in divorce. Everyone has an opinion on divorce, and many people are going to be sharing their opinions with you. We will strategize on how to define and maintain boundaries-- not just with your former spouse, but with your friends and family.
Conducting an honest and self-searching retrospective of your relationship, examining what worked and what didn't, and working together to develop ideals for future partnerships, if desired