About
bio
Hi, I'm AJ (they/them). I am a queer, nonbinary, nerdy, sober, human living on the unceded land of the Multnomah, Wasco, Cowlitz, Kathlamet, Clackamas, Bands of Chinook, Tualatin Kalapuya, and Molalla Tribes, in what is commonly referred to as Portland, Oregon. I am a parent, a caregiver, and a recovering academic. If I had a theme song, it would be "I'm Sensitive" by Jewel. I am an Enneagram 2. If we work together, we will be discussing the Enneagram!
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My practice is informed by my own journeys through grief, which you can read more about here. I'm a member of the National End of Life Doula Alliance, and I continue my education on a regular basis by taking additional specialty courses on Medical Aid in Dying (MAiD), herbal support for grief work, home abortion support training, and other grief support workshops.
values and beliefs
My values are anti-capitalist, anti-racist, and unapologetically queer. This means I myself and my practice embrace radical honesty, self-reflection, questioning old belief systems, and community-centered care.
I believe that dying, divorce, abortions, and grief are all inherently Good Things. They have become socially stigmatized due to capitalism alienating us from our ancestral, community-based roots.
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I believe that liminal spaces, spaces between two places, are sacred, and that being present in these places is liberating.
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I believe that every person has the right to complete bodily autonomy.
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I believe it is everyone's right to go through big, transformative life events with a community that is compassionate, trauma-informed, and radically celebratory.
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I am a student of justice. I pull from the collective knowledge of the social movements that came before me, and embody those values in my personal life and into my practice. I believe change comes from the collective work of communities and not through individual efforts. I acknowledge the work, the struggles, and the progress made by the Movements for Black Liberation, First Peoples and Indigenous Rights, Queer Liberation, Reproductive Rights, Women's Rights, Disability Justice, Environmental Justice, and Labor.
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I believe the over-medicalization and over-professionalization of sacred rites of passage such as dying, divorce, and abortion causes harm, but that together we can change how we experience grief and transitions.
strengths
I bring a unique blend of strengths and experiences to support you and your loved ones during life's most profound transitions. Here are some:
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I thrive in high-stress situations, providing a calming presence when you need it most.
Advocating for others comes naturally to me, as I firmly believe in the importance of honoring your choices and wishes.
Setting and maintaining boundaries is a crucial aspect of my approach, and I empower others to do the same. I will always be in your corner.
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As an Enneagram 2, I am fundamentally motivated by helping people above all else. This passion is unwavering, and I genuinely love accompanying individuals and families through their journeys.
My queerness, my trauma-informed approach, and my personal experience with divorce and abortion give me a profound empathy and understanding of diverse perspectives. I have a keen knack for identifying needs and addressing them thoughtfully.
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Finally, my creativity shines through in planning ceremonies and rituals, offering you a personalized and meaningful experience.
education and training
Important: I am firmly in the camp that doula certifications are a scam. and often rooted in white supremacist cultural norms that paying to be certified makes you a "professional." I am not a certified doula, because we are non-medical companions who are drawing from humanity's collective wisdom into supporting other people in death and grief. So much of my learning and education has come from real life experiences with my clients. That being said, continue to seek to learn more from my peers and leaders in the death, abortion, and grief worlds. And, because we are the company we keep, I think by sharing with you the people and organizations I have learned from, you can learn a little bit more about me and my perspective.
My formative training for death work was with A Scared Passing, an abolitionist collective in Seattle that encourages and centers conversation surrounding dominant cultural norms and justice-based alternatives for support techniques. ASP's works to actively dismantle systems of oppression as they present in death and dying through education, care, and advocacy.
I have also taken workshops and trainings related to death care with Alua Arthur (Going With Grace), Lauren Carroll and Erin Merelli (Deathwives), Cait Maddan (Suicide Aware Care), and Caitlin Doughty (Mortal Course).
Most of what I have learned about abortion has been through accompanying people having abortions. However I have also I have taken abortion support trainings and workshops through Birthing Advocacy Doulas, the Los Angeles Abortion Support Collective, and Planned Parenthood. I am also heavily involved with Shout Your Abortion.
For formal education, in my prior life I earned a PhD in Sociology from Vanderbilt University. My academic research focused on social movements, labor organizing, health disparities, and gender, racial/ethnic, and class inequality in the labor force.